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Save vs Stupid

from Greatest Crits 2nd Edition by Mikey Mason

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lyrics

It’s the perfect gaming party, wizard, fighter, cleric, rogue,
And a DM who’s prepared a mystic land that you will rove
And have adventures, save the day and maybe find a treasure trove
Anything could happen, but there’s something you should know
Before you go…

You can’t save vs stupid, You can’t save vs suck
You can’t save vs asshat, or save vs what the fuck
There’s so many situations that give you a saving throw
But your game will go much better once you know…
What you can’t save.

You might delve into a dungeon, where nobody checks for traps
Or randomly start licking every magic artifact
Or pickpocket a beholder, find a dragon, make a pass,
Or maybe tell the king who’s offering this quest to kiss your ass
Don’t do that…

You can’t save vs stupid, You can’t save vs suck
You can’t save vs asshat, or save vs what the fuck
There’s so many situations that give you a saving throw
But your game will go much better once you know…
What you can’t save.

You can save vs illusion, dragon’s breath, or poison gas
You can try to make a dex save just to not fall on your ass
You can save against a magic spell, athletics or death, too,
But there’s not a single fucking roll to save yourself from you.

You can’t save vs stupid, You can’t save vs suck
You can’t save vs asshat, or save vs what the fuck
There’s so many situations that give you a saving throw
But your game will go much better once you know…
What you can’t save.

credits

from Greatest Crits 2nd Edition, released August 2, 2023

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Mikey Mason Indianapolis, Indiana

A nationally touring performer with hits like She Don’t Like Firefly, Best Game Ever, and Opposite of Cool, Mikey Mason is a ball of contagious enthusiasm who makes songs about role-playing games, video games, sci-fi, fantasy, cats, and the general experience of being a geek. He’s been heard on nerdist.com, SyFy, TheFuMP.com, and Dr. Demento, and is a truly must-see event each time he performs. ... more

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