I'd had enough of rubber masks, and holograms, of flash bombs and machine-made fog.
I'd had enough of those meddling kids, and their stupid, talking dog.
I found tmy answer in the prison library, hidden in an ancient tome.
I found the words that would grant my vengeance, and rouse the old ones from their home...

It all began when their hippie van broke down in Massachusetts, in a sudden summer storm.
Near a quaint old town, there was shelter found in a haunted bed and breakfast, a place to dry off and get warm.

The stoner and his coward dog said, “We don't want to get involved!”
But the other three, in their deviant glee, “Said there's a mystery to be solved!”
And I knew they were mine!

I swore that I would crush you, that I would kill you... Scooby Doo!
I swore that I would break you, so now I turn to... Cthulu!

A secret passage found with no one around and suddenly Daphne's missing, to no one's real surprise.
She soon returned all bruised and burned from fierce tentacular groping... All up and down her thighs.
She said the passage led her dark and alone to a secret place near the millionaire's home,
But the second before the gang left to explore, they were joined by Davy Jones—Friggin' Monkee Davy Jones!

I swore that I would crush you, that I would kill you... Scooby Doo!
I swore that I would break you, so now I turn to... Cthulu!

Velma's glasses broke and while Davy Jones helped her crawl around to find them, a mirror suddenly turned to black.
Shaggy's glance is drawn through the mirror beyond to the void of Yog-Sothoth, and his sanity quickly cracked.
As Shag and Scoob tried to run away, brave Fred rushed in to save the day,
And when Daphne, possessed, moved to kill and molest him, Velma stabbed her in the chest
With a pitchfork no less!

I swore that I would crush you, that I would kill you... Scooby Doo!
I swore that I would break you, so now I turn to... Cthulu!

Long story short... Turns out the owners of he old hotel... Well... That was me, and I'd created this whole scenario to lure the Mystery Inc gang into my grasp.
And sure, they managed to stop the great Cthulu from leaving his slumbering depths under the waves. And I went back to prison, silently awaiting the return of my master to devour myunworthy soul.
And Shaggy was mostly okay—after some extensive counseling. Of course this only happened after Scooby lost a leg in one of their late night food orgies. Turns out Shaggy had a taste for dogmeat. They don't talk anymore.
Even Daphne made it out alive—though it looked like she was a goner. That cursed Davy Jones ran into a peculiar text while looking for Velma's glasses, damn his silky smooth voice and dreamy good looks.
The book showed her how to revive the dead by reducing them to their vital essences and reconstructing them through ritual magic. This involved Velma flaying Daphne while she was still barely alive and wearing her skin like a flesh mask. She's institutionalized now.
Davy used to visit her once in a while, but it got too depressing.
Fred is still plucking away at mysteries with Daphne, too oblivious to realize that no one was wearing a rubber mask, and stupid enough to believe the child in her womb is actually his.
That's an episode of Maury I can't wait for. Wait'll he sees the tentacles...

Muahahahahhahahahah!

I gave everything to break you, gave my soul to Cthulu...
I swore that I would crush you, that I would kill you... Scooby Doo!