These Dice Are Trying To Kill Me
from Greatest Crits 2nd Edition by Mikey Mason
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lyrics
I sit down at the table, and we proceed to game
Roleplaying magic fables, in search of wealth and fame.
I feel a sudden dread as I pull out my dice…
I know that something’s not right…
I’m missing saving throws, these dice are trying to kill me
I fumble every roll, these dice are trying to kill me
Even a mediocre roll tonight would thrill me
But I swear right now, these dice are trying to kill me!
I break out in a flop sweat just before every roll…
I swear I heard them laughing when I attacked that troll.
Maybe they’re plotting in their dice bag every night…
But I know something’s just ain’t right…
I’m missing saving throws, these dice are trying to kill me
I fumble every roll, these dice are trying to kill me
Even a fair to middling roll tonight would thrill me
But I swear right now, these dice are trying to kill me!
I’m missing every roll, these dice are trying to kill me
I fumble saving throws, these dice are trying to kill me
Even a mediocre roll tonight would thrill me
But I swear right now, these dice are trying
Swear right now, I feel like crying,
Swear right now, these dice are trying to kill me!
Roleplaying magic fables, in search of wealth and fame.
I feel a sudden dread as I pull out my dice…
I know that something’s not right…
I’m missing saving throws, these dice are trying to kill me
I fumble every roll, these dice are trying to kill me
Even a mediocre roll tonight would thrill me
But I swear right now, these dice are trying to kill me!
I break out in a flop sweat just before every roll…
I swear I heard them laughing when I attacked that troll.
Maybe they’re plotting in their dice bag every night…
But I know something’s just ain’t right…
I’m missing saving throws, these dice are trying to kill me
I fumble every roll, these dice are trying to kill me
Even a fair to middling roll tonight would thrill me
But I swear right now, these dice are trying to kill me!
I’m missing every roll, these dice are trying to kill me
I fumble saving throws, these dice are trying to kill me
Even a mediocre roll tonight would thrill me
But I swear right now, these dice are trying
Swear right now, I feel like crying,
Swear right now, these dice are trying to kill me!
credits
from Greatest Crits 2nd Edition,
released August 2, 2023
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Mikey Mason Indianapolis, Indiana
A nationally touring performer with hits like She Don’t Like Firefly, Best Game Ever, and Opposite of Cool, Mikey Mason is a ball of contagious enthusiasm who makes songs about role-playing games, video games, sci-fi, fantasy, cats, and the general experience of being a geek. He’s been heard on nerdist.com, SyFy, TheFuMP.com, and Dr. Demento, and is a truly must-see event each time he performs. ... more
discography
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Aug 2023 -
Nov 2022 -
Feb 2022 -
Oct 2021
contact / help
Mikey Mason recommends:
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The Age Of Steam: Strange Machines
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Super Powered Love
by Kirby KrackleSuperheroes and videogames and polished rock music that makes it just as attractive as anything else you might find on the radio... Such great, great music!
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This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
by Mike HindInfectious, lyrical, upbeat music infused with positivity. What isn't to like?
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If you like Mikey Mason, you may also like:
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Holy Crap, A New Album
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Positively Gruntled, a collection of non-sequitur ditties
by The Blibbering Humdingerssupported by 7 fans who also own “These Dice Are Trying To Kill Me”
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Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John RobinsRobins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
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