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Babysitter's Lullaby

from Dangerous Gifts by Mikey Mason

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lyrics

If you’re bad, your mom and dad will break up
If you were good, you know they would still love you.
Your daddy drinks because you cry
and if you don’t quit asking why
Then Santa Claus won’t visit, anymore.

If you tell a lie your puppy’s head will fall off.
If you told the truth, your grandma’d still be living.
The kids at school all hate your clothes.
I’ll tell them all you pick your nose
If you don’t clean your bedroom every night.

Now why can’t you be more like your brother?
He’s good at sports and oh, so popular…
And why can’t you more like your sister?
Nobody at school makes fun of her...

If you touch yourself, you’ll go blind and get cancer.
If you kiss a girl, you know you'll make her pregnant.
Your mom says you’re an accident.
If you don’t eat your veggies, then I’ll
Ground you to the closet one more day…
Your goldfish will mysteriously pass away…
And I’ll tell all of your school friends you are gay.

credits

from Dangerous Gifts, released October 31, 2013

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about

Mikey Mason Indianapolis, Indiana

A nationally touring performer with hits like She Don’t Like Firefly, Best Game Ever, and Opposite of Cool, Mikey Mason is a ball of contagious enthusiasm who makes songs about role-playing games, video games, sci-fi, fantasy, cats, and the general experience of being a geek. He’s been heard on nerdist.com, SyFy, TheFuMP.com, and Dr. Demento, and is a truly must-see event each time he performs. ... more

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