America's Ass

from Widdershins by Mikey Mason

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about

If you've seen Avengers: Endgame, this song needs no explanation. If you need it explained, you should probably watch Avengers: Endgame.

That *is* America's Ass.

These songs and this album (not to mention my career) simply would not be possible without supporters and patrons like Robin Abess, Randy Brown, Jon Haight, Les Howard, Brian Jackey, Jeremy Jackson & Jennifer Lewis, Michael Khandelwal, Josh Logan, Scot Mealy, Ame Morris, Amy Stuart, Scott & Melanie Wienhusen, John R. Woollard, and @oopswrongcookie. I am eternally grateful to them, and to all my supporters.

lyrics

Indiana is the Crossroads of America, on charts
Wisconsin is our Dairyland, Kansas City is the Heart
Our back bone is the Rockies, so strong and hard to pass,
But just look behind Steve Rogers & you’ll see our nation’s Ass.

That ass defeated Nazis, that ass outleapt Batroc
That ass spent several decades frozen solid as a rock
That ass took down the Rhino (who can lift a hundred tons)
That ass beat Arnim Zola, and Baron Zemo, and his son.

It infiltrated Hydra, took it down from the inside,
And punched through Iron Man’s armor, that ass known far and wide.
Beat Red Skull, and the Kingpin, and the Winter Soldier, too.
That ass KOed a werewolf, there’s nothing it can’t do.

The ass that dodges lasers, that fights in Zero G
That ass that countered Quicksilver, with superhuman speed.
Muscular and firm and just above America’s thighs,
That ass is so damn worthy, it could lift Mjolnir high!

So keep your mottos and your slogans, but I shall raise my glass,
To the backside of Steve Rogers, who wields America’s ass!
The backside of Steve Rogers, who wields America’s ass!

credits

from Widdershins, released February 18, 2022

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Mikey Mason Indianapolis, Indiana

A nationally touring performer with hits like She Don’t Like Firefly, Best Game Ever, and Opposite of Cool, Mikey Mason is a ball of contagious enthusiasm who makes songs about role-playing games, video games, sci-fi, fantasy, cats, and the general experience of being a geek. He’s been heard on nerdist.com, SyFy, TheFuMP.com, and Dr. Demento, and is a truly must-see event each time he performs. ... more

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