How bout you fuck off for Christmas?
How bout 9 shits that I don’t give for Chanukah?
How bout you kiss my hairy ass for Kwanzaa?
How bout your Happy Holidays can go get stuffed?

I used to love this time of the year
But then I grew up and it all became so clear.
Between the family that you hate and all the family that hates you
You spend a lot of fucking money on shit you don’t wanna do?

How bout you fuck off for Christmas?
How bout 9 shits that I don’t give for Chanukah?
How bout you kiss my hairy ass for Kwanzaa?
How bout your Happy Holidays can go get stuffed?

Oh see the trimmings and mistletoe?
And all those decorations everywhere you go.
They all went up on November first…
But hit the store shelves back in August and it’s really just the worst!

How bout you fuck off for Christmas?
How bout 9 shits that I don’t give for Chanukah?
How bout you kiss my hairy ass for Kwanzaa?
How bout your Happy Holidays can go get stuffed?

And when your mangy-ass knee biters go to torment Santa Claus
And wipe their grubby little dick beaters all over Santa’s draws
And his elf says Merry Christmas, never doubt that this is true:
They want ‘em gift-wrapped in a bear trap and shipped right back home to you!

How bout you fuck off for Christmas?
How bout 9 shits that I don’t give for Chanukah?
How bout you kiss my hairy ass for Kwanzaa?
How bout your Happy Holidays can go get stuffed?
Just take your Happy Holidays and go get fucked!