If I Had A Mutant Power

by Mikey Mason

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about

Mikey used to do a lot of parodies, but has since slowed down quite a bit. This one--a parody of Barenaked Ladies 'If I Had A Million Dollars'--appeared originally on mp3 dot com around 2004, and disappeared shortly after the end of the site...

MIkey re-recorded the song as a potential demo for his upcoming album "Impotent Nerd Rage," but declined to use any parodies on the album, opting instead for all original material.

So as not to leave this as an orphaned piece of music, Mikey is instead sharing it with the world, whether the world wants it or not...

lyrics

If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I would go to Xavier's school. (I would go to Xavier's school.)
And if I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I'd mack on chicks at Xavier's school (Like Rogue and Kitty Pryde and Boom Boom.)
And if I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I'd get to fly the Blackbird (A supersonic stealth machine)
And if I had a mutant power, I'd save the world...

If I had a mutant power, I'd build a Danger Room in our yard!
If I had a mutant power, you could help, it wouldn't be that hard!
If I had a mutant power, maybe we could put holograms and robots in there... And we could go out in there, and just hang out with, like, Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends...
And we'd learn that Firestar is a mutant...
Hey! Iceman's a mutie, too!
Yeah, we knew that, because he was in the original X-Men, ya know...
Well, duh!

If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I'd be covered in blue fur (But not in real blue fur, that's cruel...)
If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I'd have an exotic pet (Like a dragon... Named Lockheed.)
If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I'd get to look at Logan's x-rays (Ooh, all them crazy adamantium bones...)
If I had a mutant power, I'd save the world...

If I had a mutant power, I'd wear a leather uniform!
If I had a mutant power, I'd want Jean Grey to keep me warm!
If I had a mutant power, I'd get an Oscar caliber actress to be in the movie...
And then give her really lame lines?
Of course!
Like, “Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.”
Yeah, but remember how she looked in that half-shirt, though?
Mmmmmmm...

If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I'd wear yellow spandex (But not real yellow spandex. That's cruel.)
If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I might join the Hellfire Club (With Sebastian Shaw, Emma Frost, and Selene!)
If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
I'd call beast a monkey (Don't you think that he looks like a monkey?)
If I had a mutant power, I'd save the world...

If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
If I had a mutant power (If I had a mutant power)
If I had a mutant power...
I'd be cool.

credits

released August 4, 2011

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Mikey Mason Indianapolis, Indiana

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