When you were four you wrote new combat rules for Candy land
Huge lists of weapon, armors and
Crit tables on which we would roll
Each of the board games in our home all had house rules by thirteen
Tax shelters in Monopoly
Draw 20 wild cards in Uno
And you some how wonder why…?

Cause there’s always one more step that you can take
One more rule that you can break
One more level you can go
And there’s always one more way to win the game
One more way to shift the blame
One more fit that you can throw
Always one more thing to add on to…
Maybe that’s why no one wants to play with you.

When you can frame someone in Clue
When playing Risk you launch a nuke
When playing Battleship your sonar lets you see the other board
When you play Mousetrap, extra mice,
When you play Yahtzee, bonus dice,
When you play Chess, your king can make a pawn into a feudal lord
And you somehow wonder why…?

Cause there’s always one more step that you can take
One more rule that you can break
One more level you can go
And there’s always one more way to win the game
One more way to shift the blame
One more fit that you can throw
Always one more thing to add on to…
Maybe that’s why no one wants to play with you.

In Chutes and Ladders, some chutes hold a spike trap underneath
Your Game of Life has STDs
Your Twister mat is always greased
All of the house rules make the games take way too long to play
They’re all driving me insane
Why can’t we just play the base game?

Cause there’s always one more step that you can take
One more rule that you can break
One more level you can go
And there’s always one more way to win the game
One more way to shift the blame
One more fit that you can throw
Always one more thing to add on to…
Maybe that’s why no one wants to play with you.